Wednesday 8 February 2012

Vampires

I just had my traditional cheap seats viewing of the newest Twilight movie with a friend of mine, and I have to say those movies get worse everytime. I read all the books in high school and I see the movies out of obligation to the commitment I made to the series. Also don't hate on it until you've seen it. But man are those vampires wimps.

I am ridiculously obsessed with True Blood, and the Twilight vampires are such an embarassment. I've never been into old school vampire books or movies and I really have no interest in them, I just like the show. I don't want any variations of vampires, all I want are my southern accented, sexy, murders that I've come to love.

Unfortunatly being that True Blood is on HBO, it only plays 12 weeks out of the year I am going through a serious case of TBD (True Blood Withdrawl) that I tried to counteract with reruns and Twilight. Bad choice.




Twilight vamps go to high school and eat animals and stare longlingly into whiney teenagers eyes while they sparkle. True Blood vamps kill just about everyone that pisses them off, eat their loved ones, and all those other things we all love HBO for.

True Blood plot lines consist of a few key elements:
           -Blood
           -Sex
           -Drugs
           -Supernatural shit
           -Sex, blood, drugs, and supernatural shit combined.

I seriously don't think anyone in that show owns more that 3 changes of clothes. They're just always naked and killing stuff.

Characters that have died over the past 4 seasons:
1. Tommy - beat to death
2. Jesus - stabbed by his possessed boyfriend
3. Marnie - Shot in the head
4. Nan - staked
5. Maryann - heart ripped out
6. Rene - decapitated with a shovel
7. Debbie - shot in the head
8. Eggs - shot
9. Lorena - staked
10. Adele - strangled
11. Melinda & Joe Lee - Beaten to death
12. Godric - extreme sunburn
13. Sophie-Anne - shot

I really could go on but you get the point... and those are just some main characters. Basically what I'm saying is if you like a new character don't get too attached... their brains are probably going to be blown out in Sookie's kitchen by the end of the season. (I'll miss you Debbie).

Oh and don't see the new Twilight unless you're sick at home and your PVR suggests it. Then it's ok.

2 comments:

  1. Hahaha. 'Godric - extreme sunburn'

    That's a better way of saying 'The True Death' I think.

    Loooove True Blood.

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  2. at first i hated true blood because i couldn't handle vampires with hillbilly accents....but then it grew on me because of eric. oh and i always end up hating the main characters of most television series...and i don't hate sooki at all! that's a good sign for me.

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