Sunday, 8 January 2012


"Pepsi" is not an emotion
neither is "water, make sure there's a lemon"
and my favourite "uhm, what's on tap?"
also, not an emotion.

My job as a server is to ask you how you are
90% of the time I don't care how you are.
But lets go through these motions together so I can go get you your ridiculous hot water with lemon.
Just get a tea, stop being so cheap.

No we do not have french onion soup.
Remember when I told you the specials?
I said cream of mushroom.
Remember when the guy beside you asked what kind of soups we have?
If I didn't say french onion it's because I dont have french onion.
Why are you mad at me?!
I don't run the kitchen.
We also don't have honey dill.
Deal with it.

I am currently holding 3 scalding hot plates that are burning a hole through the skin on my forarm
the skin between my thumb and index finger has been perma-burned for 2 years
FYI if your server has full hands and there is no room  on your table to put down your plate
Help them out!

"get me another beer"
Not and emotion
I asked "how is everything going over here"
Appropriate answer?
"good, can I grab another beer?"
I am a server by my own freewill.
Ask me, don't tell me.
I am not a slave.

All servers want is to be respected. Be nice to your server, go along with their questions and be polite about their suggestions. It's our job! Don't blame them for things out of their control, they don't make the rules, they're just the ones that have to use them.

And don't snap your fingers at us.
NEVER snap your fingers at us.
Thank you.


  1. There's a Facebook group called 'Broken Dishes, and Forced Smiles' that I like to read when I've had a bad day at work.. haha.

  2. Gawd, I remember having to go through the specials list four times with some tables...