Clubbing

When I turned 18 I was really into the club scene. Until the novelty wore off. Now I just don't really understand the appeal. I admit, I enjoy going out with a girlfriend every now and then but I can't wrap my head around the idea that people go to the clubs every weekend and have fun! Here are a few reasons why I don't fit in at the clubs:

I don't know what to wear
the last time I went to the club I wore tweed shoes. Apparently tweed isn't hip anymore. No one informed me.
The time before that I wore a vest. I got ready with another non club going friend of mine and we decided it looked nice. People don't wear vests to clubs.
I'm 5'10''. The apparent social protocol is to wear painful heels to the club. Being a head taller than my girlfriends is the most awkward way to dance.

Personal space
If I don't know you, please don't touch me. It's not flattering and I have issues with people in my personal bubble who were not invited.

Walking and drinking
For a long time now I've struggled with my inability to move and drink at the same time. There's a 50/50 chance I'll spill my drink standing still or sitting down so when I'm forced to walk or even worse dance with a drink I stain my clothes. Dry cleaning isn't in my student budget.

Dancing
My dancing skills are non existant. Unless you count awkward swaying or flailing as dancing. Don't ask me to demostrate.

Frizzy hair
Everytime I go to the clubs I straighten my hair and try to look cute and when I get there the humidity in that place is worse than Hawaii and it almost immediatly goes curly and frizzy and gross.

I'm not saying it's impossible to have fun at a club but for the most part I end up standing around with a big question mark on my face because I feel so incedibly awkward. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing at a club... If they maybe turned the music down so I could hear the person next to me I would have fun. Buy a pool table, get a good band, anything! For now I just don't see the appeal.